The Eurovison: Wrong Contest

Apr 25 2008 by Gavin Allen, South Wales Echo

Sir Terry Wogan lends his legendary commentary to a new stage show that parodies the Eurovision Song Contest. As it wings its way to South Wales, the TV icon tells us why he loves the annual camp-a-thon so much...

“I DON’T make the mistake of thinking it’s a major musical event,” chuckles Sir Terry Wogan of his affinity with the Eurovision Song Contest.

As he sips a coffee in a London hotel bar, having just finished presenting his Radio 2 breakfast show for another day, Sir Terry proves as genial off air as he is on it.

Dressed in a grey tweed jacket, polo-neck jumper and dark trousers, he mixes the self-deprecation of age with the cheeky twinkle of youth.

Of the many projects he has been involved in over the years, be it his chat show Wogan, Points Of View or Children in Need, it is perhaps the Eurovision Song Contest that has his most long-standing personal affinity. “I’ve always loved it,” beams the presenter, who has commentated on the competition since 1973.

“You can decry it for its foolishness, but it’s huge all over the world. It has a global audience of some 300 million and 11 million in the UK last year.

“We love the Eurovision Song Contest because it’s the ideal opportunity to have a jolly good sneer at Johnny Foreigner.

“You can’t beat that sort of entertainment!”

It’s his love for the competition that led to Sit Terry’s involvement in Eurobeat, a stage show pastiche of the event.

Whether you’re in love with Lulu and Lordi, bonkers about Bucks Fizz or feel sick at the sound of Scootch, then Eurobeat should win your vote.

It was written by Craig Christie and Andrew Patterson after Craig, a British passport holder, was denied the chance to write an entry for the 2003 Eurovision Song Contest because he happened to live in Australia.

Instead, he decided to go one better and write a musical about the competition and at the 2007 Edinburgh Festival the resulting show scooped the inaugural Best Musical Award.

Aping the voting strategies of the real thing, each audience member who enters the auditorium is allocated one of 10 competing countries to represent.

Once they have heard all of the entries, they are then invited to vote for their favourite via text message.

That interactive element means every show has a different winner which drives at the heart of Eurovision, and it’s won the approval of the main man.

“I was more than happy to get involved with Eurobeat,” says Sir Terry, 69, who appears on a video screen at strategic points during this uproariously fun evening.

“It’s been a tremendous laugh.”

Eurobeat, which stars comedian Gareth Hale and former Coronation Street actress Sally Lindsay, sets the contest in safe and sunny Sarajevo and is hosted by a cabaret performer called Boyka and a children’s presenter called Sergei.

It’s Wogan’s reaction to those national hosts, as well as the turns themselves, that have made his meandering deadpan commentary so popular over the years.

“I say what I see just before the viewers do – ‘have you ever seen teeth like that?’ – 101 things occur to you when those clowns come on stage or when the local presenters start shrieking,” he says with a twinkle in those aqua-green eyes.

“People used to say to me, ‘how come you are at this contest, if you don’t like it?’ but they were missing the point.

“I love Eurovision but you have to approach it in a spirit of fun.”

Sir Terry points out that the UK’s ironic attitude to the contest’s campery is different to the rest of Europe.

“We sneer at the music, but across the continent that’s what they listen to all the time,” he says, a touch of disbelief still in his voice.

“Our music is so diverse – they’re not open to as many different influences.

“On German TV, whole hours are given over to people in lederhosen slapping their thighs and playing the tuba.

“In Spain, they broadcast variety shows that go on for four hours and include jugglers and comic sketches.

“In Europe, variety isn’t dead and different standards apply.

“We’re not superior, but that doesn’t stop us having a good old hoot at it all!”

But Sir Terry is also quick to emphasise that the mockery isn’t all one way.

“Other countries scoff at us, you can be sure of that,” he laughs, his shoulders vibrating as he chuckles.

“We’re not averse to getting a good kicking from the rest of Europe, but luckily we only speak English so we don’t understand it!

“I love The Eurovision Song Contest, and it will continue long after I’m gone,” he concludes.

“Just, please, don’t ask me to take it seriously!”

Eurobeat: Almost Eurovision (Sarajevo) is at Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay, from Tuesday until Saturday, May 3. Tickets cost £15-£23 from 08700 40 2000.