ace ventura

Apr 26 2008 by Our Correspondent, Western Mail

Britain’s newest superliner got a sensational secret agent send-off from Southampton last week. Paul Cole joined the VIP party

IT’S part and parcel of maritime history. Breaking a bottle of Champagne across the bows of a new ship is seen as a golden guarantee of good luck.

Get it wrong and the consequences can be dire. Eight years ago, the Princess Royal’s bottle failed to shatter and P&O’s Aurora broke down on her maiden voyage.

Soon afterwards, the liner was stricken by a sickness bug, and one of her planned cruises had to be cancelled.

Blame it on the bottle, the old seadogs said.

Little wonder, then, that Dame Helen Mirren called in some help when she officially named £330m superliner Ventura – the biggest passenger ship ever built for British passengers – in Southampton.

Lending a hand were a crack squad of Royal Marine Commandos, the cast of TV spy series Spooks and stars from the Bond movies, including 007 himself.

In a spectacular ceremony watched by a VIP crowd packed with familiar faces, Ventura proved she had not just a lotta bottle but also a licence to thrill.

Bosses at P&O recruited a celebrity who’s who to give their new ship a sizzling send-off complete with a superspy spoof storyline.

Guests watched a fake news broadcast read by Selina Scott, warning that a shadowy organisation planned to sabotage the ceremony by ensuring the bottle remained unbroken.

Cue cameos from evil captain, Welsh actor Jonathan Pryce, retired agent Roger Moore, secret service boss Patricia Hodge, Samantha Bond’s Miss Moneypenny and the TV Spooks team led by Peter Firth as Harry Pearce.

The day was saved by some commando derring-do from the masked marines who beat the bad guys in a powerboat chase, abseiled down the side of the ship and smashed the champers under orders from Dame Helen.

As the biggest fireworks display ever seen in the port lit up the sky, accompanied by a medley of spy themes ranging from Bond to The Avengers, and Mission Impossible to Austin Powers, celebs on deck gasped in amazement.

Rowan Atkinson appeared shaken, not stirred; Stephen Tompkinson laughed aloud at the spy story; Imelda Staunton and Robert Powell and Hugh Bonneville swapped stage stories. But it was dazzling Dame Helen who outshone them all. Dressed to thrill, and still sexy at the age of 62, she was welcomed by a standing ovation.

“As a child I never dreamed that I would one day be launching a ship,” she confided.

“That was something only the Queen used to do, or Princess Margaret or someone. It wasn’t ever likely to happen to an ordinary girl. But having played the Queen, and Her Majesty being unavailable, I suppose I was the next best thing.

“To be honest, I jumped at the chance.”

Ventura is longer than London’s Tower Bridge, her top deck stands 195ft above the sea, and her engines deliver the same horsepower as 190 souped-up Ferraris.

Five times more paint than they use on the Eiffel Tower is needed to coat her.

The total number of passengers and crew – a fully-loaded 4,296 – is enough to form 390 football teams; the ship has 11 acres of carpet (enough to cover all the Six Nations grounds); she’s as long as three Premiership football pitches end to end.

She’s big news, too, for a buoyant cruising market which has not even been dented by the credit crunch. More than 1.5 million Brits will take cruises this year.

What makes her different from her P&O sisters is an emphasis on family-friendly facilities. Conscious that cruisers are getting younger – it’s expected the average passenger on Ventura will be a fortysomething.

There’s the biggest playroom on any British cruise ship, complete with soft play areas, internet screens, and a cooking lesson kitchen. For older kids, there’s even a fully-equipped rock school with guitars, drums and DJ decks.

And high up on the 19th deck, Cirque Ventura offers open-air lessons on the trapeze, trampolines, rings and juggling equipment.

Nights out are a far cry from tradition, too.

After the naming ceremony, guests took their choice from a jungle theatrical spectacular led by Britain’s Got Talent finalists Rebecca & Donovan, late-night alternative comedy, or Robbie Williams and Freddie Mercury soundalikes.

The ship boasts more than 7,000 pieces of cutting-edge art (seven times more than Tate Modern), Marco Pierre White’s White Room restaurant, a 3D cinema, casino, a 785-seat theatre and even a digital Scalextric circuit.

In all, there are 11 eateries, 10 bars – spearheaded by the chic Metropolis, where a giant video wall shows live-time cityscapes of Paris, New York, Las Vegas, Sydney, Hong Kong and London – three dancefloors, six live music venues, two show lounges, and a nightclub.

Dining options range from the Mediterranean menus of The White Room to East, a beautifully designed Asian fusion restaurant. Elsewhere, Ramblas is a tapas bar, complete with a tree growing in its courtyard.

And if you really want to push the boat out, you can have a Marco Pierre White signature dish served on the balcony of your own stateroom.

Ventura boasts 880 cabins with balconies – more than any other ship sailing from the UK. They range from the adequate to the surprisingly spacious. They’ve been furnished in much the same way as a boutique hotel, with original art, movies-on-demand TV and wi-fi capability.

There’s a luxurious spa offering treatments old and new, a thermal suite with steam rooms, an “infinity” spa pool, gymnasium, hair and beauty salon, and sports court, plus no fewer than five swimming pools.

Shore excursions have been given a makeover, too. While you can still enjoy traditional sightseeing tours, a dash of adrenalin adventure has been added.

You can go off-road to take 4x4 driving lessons, experience the thrill of a zip-wire flight or go white-water rafting.

The last word goes to Dame Helen: “I wish the ship luck and love, and calm seas on her voyages. D’you know, I’ve always wanted to say that!”