Does your life need a makeover?

Apr 1 2008 by Rin Simpson, Western Mail

Have you let yourself settle for ‘good enough’ when you should be aiming for ‘great’? It might be time to get out your metaphorical marigolds and give your life a good going over

If you met a friend you hadn’t seen since high school and they asked how you were these days, what would you say? How would you sum up your life?

Whoever you are, your description would almost certainly involve an element of work, socialising, finances, relationships, hobbies and interests. But in what proportion, and of what quality?

Spring is a time of new life, of emerging into the warm sunshine after months huddled up against the cold. Traditionally it’s also been a time for housewives to give their house a good going over.

But what if it isn’t just your house that needs a bit of updating?

“Being in a rut is a powerless, helpless place that we get to when we stop noticing what’s working in our lives, what isn’t and then crucially seeing that we can do something about it,” says life coach Jessica Chivers.

“When you’re in a rut you’re less likely to spot and have the confidence to act on opportunities and to drive change in your life.”

The problem is, change is something that requires effort, determination and not a little bit of courage.

“Change is hard, we have to let go of the old way of doing things and adjust to the ‘new way’ and there’s often a feeling of things being crazy, chaotic and out of control in that overlapping period,” admits Jessica.

“So we need to feel a certain level of discomfort (a situation sometimes has to be dire) in order for us to want to do something about it. If things are ‘good enough’ then there often isn’t enough of an impetus to go for ‘great’ – better the devil you know than you don’t mentality.”

The “what if” syndrome can leave us paralysed by fear of change – what if that promotion in a different company turns out not to be as good as you thought it would be? What if, on balance, it would have just been easier to stay in your old job that was “fine”?

But, by taking a risk and making small changes, you can greatly improve the quality of your life. You may not want to change careers entirely, but could you afford to reduce your hours and take up a hobby that you enjoy with the extra free time? Your relationship might not be ready for the scrapheap just yet, but perhaps there are changes that you and your partner could make that would make both of you happier.

“A great question to ask is ‘If this wasn’t my current situation, would I choose it?’,” says Jessica.

“When women ask themselves this they usually find there are a couple of things at least that they would like to change or do differently.

“For some women it’s a simple few tweaks that come to light (like getting a better work/home balance which might mean organising a day working from home a week) and for others this question opens a floodgate of things they realise they’ve been tolerating for far too long – and need to do something about.”

Having identified the areas you want to change, you’re already one step closer to achieving a life you can live with. Then all you need to do is take action. Read on to hear what the experts have to say about three key areas – money, relationships and career.

For more information or to contact Jessica, visit The Thinking Woman’s Coach at www.beyoubutbetter.co.uk or call 01727 856 169