Have yourself a stress free family Christmas

Dec 20 2007 by Our Correspondent, Western Mail

Are you looking forward to an enjoyable holiday season or are you fearing loneliness or family rows? Try these top tips for a happier Christmas

Make time to relax – take time out to treat yourself, whether it’s reading a good book or taking a long bath. Most importantly – don’t feel guilty about doing something unrelated to the festivities.

Some other tips for anyone wanting to ensure a stress-free Christmas:

Ask for help

Don’t take all the responsibility for Christmas on yourself. Delegate to other members of the family for help with shopping, present wrapping, cooking and washing-up.

Let others know you are feeling under pressure – they might not have realised how stressed you were feeling.

Take a hike

A walk gets you out of the house, and physical activity reduces stress and lifts mood. It’ll give you time to yourself or if you prefer take the whole family – it’s a great way to get away from the television for quality time together.

Get your heart pumping – find exercise that works for you.

Find a listening ear

If family feuding is a problem phone a friend. It can be helpful to talk to someone a little removed from the situation and then you can return to your immediate family when you’ve had the chance to let off some steam.

Don’t take everything too seriously

They don’t say laughter is the best form of medicine for nothing, it is known to provide short-term stress relief. Why not sit down with a classic feel-good film?

Don’t feel pressured into expressing seasonal cheer if that’s not how you’re feeling, but try not to turn into Ebenezer Scrooge either!

Try not to over-indulge on food and drink

It’s a great part of Christmas, but the excess can leave you feeling lethargic. Good food, fruit, vegetables and water can lift our mood significantly.

Enjoy yourself but try to be sensible.

Give time to those important to you

Christmas can be a great time to catch up with those you don’t see very often. But it can feel isolated – even when you are surrounded by people! So give yourself time to be around those you are closest to and find most supportive.

You don’t have to prepare a perfect feast

Get food which is easy to prepare in advance, which you like. It’s not a competition.

Be a volunteer

Give the gift of your time to vulnerable people through volunteering in local community groups and charities.

Many charities and organisations provide a valuable service and could do with help at Christmas.

If you have spare time on your hands, consider spending a few hours working as a volunteer.

For information on local volunteering opportunities visit www.do-it.org.uk (which lists volunteer positions within varying distances of your postcode), ask at your local library, or keep an eye on your local newspapers.

Plan ahead

If you are going to be alone, make dates to meet friends you enjoy. Remember that cash points often run out over this period, and check transport details over the holiday, also shops and medical services.

Avoid conflict

Try to avoid getting into arguments with people if you know you will never agree and avoid talking over bad bits of the past. Change the subject to something lighter.

Help for those in pain
It is no surprise that calls to helplines such as Samaritans rise by around 10% during Christmas and New Year, as more people find themselves thinking of suicide as a way of dealing with their pain. Figures suggest that suicide increases in the winter period, particularly after Christmas.

Often there are no obvious symptoms, especially as those who are feeling low may try to hide how they are feeling.

If you suspect someone may feel suicidal reassure them that there is help available and that what they are feeling is treatable.

Make sure they know where to find help if they need it.

Mind Cymru is leading the way in combating suicide with the ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) programme. The aim is to train people to recognise someone who is suicidal and give them the skills and confidence to intervene.

If you would like to do the ASIST training visit www.mind.org.uk/About+Mind/Mind+Cymru/ or phone MindinfoLine on 0845 766 0163

Alan Briscoe, Project Manager, Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST).

Do you get SAD?
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), or “winter depression”, may affect as many as a third of us, but the problem often goes undiagnosed.

For a smaller number, it can be seriously disabling. Nine out of 10 people say they eat and sleep more in winter and feel more down in the dumps. But for those with SAD, the changes in mood and behaviour are much more severe, and happen regularly each winter.

Some people seem to be more affected than others. When light hits the back of the eye (the retina), messages are passed to the part of the brain (the hypothalamus) that rules sleep, appetite, sex drive, temperature, mood and activity. If there’s not enough light, these functions can slow down and gradually stop.

Using personal lightboxes can help, but we should all try to spend some time outdoors in daylight as often as possible.

A Winter Wonderland?
The idea of rural living can be idyllic. It conjures up images of a crisp and fresh landscape with space, fresh air and contented people everywhere with rosy cheeks.

This is indeed the reality for many but we should not make the mistake of thinking that it is the reality for everyone.

Generally being in the countryside or just out of doors away from urban settings is good for people’s mental and physical health.

Indeed, research shows an inverse relationship between how close we are to open green spaces in urban areas and levels of stress.

However, for some people the reality of rural life can be isolating, with poor access to support and essential services.

Living in the countryside can make it difficult for people to access the help and support that they need, due to isolation, limited public services with less choice, fear of stigma and transport challenges.

Contrary to popular belief, poverty, poor housing, poor transport, debt and worry are very real experiences for many people living in rural communities.

However, just as we can do things to improve our physical health we can also do things to improve our emotional and mental health, often at the same time, such as doing voluntary environmental work through local “green gyms” or going for a walk.

Frequently the answer to maintaining and improving our mental health lies within the community around us. Mental wellbeing really is everybody’s business.

A close and caring community can make a vast difference and should be used to its full effect, for example, joining local courses or getting involved in your place of worship if you have one.

You can enhance you own mental and emotional wellbeing by talking to someone, to share problems and perhaps come up with ideas about how to move forward.

Let’s not be afraid of tackling our mental health, let’s be open about it.

We should feel comfortable in asking for help and support when we need it.

Importantly we should also feel comfortable about offering others help and support which they may be reluctant to ask for themselves.

Gareth Jones, Mind Rural Policy Officer

Is your family coping this Christmas?
For most people Christmas is a time for celebration and relaxation but for some it can be the most stressful event of the year. Financial concerns, last-minute shopping and the prospect of hosting the extended family means that the run-up to the festive period can be fraught with worries.

The season is hyped up months in advance. The image is one of happy families with plenty of money and comfortable homes buying each other perfect presents, eating and drinking expensively, going to parties dressed in the latest fashions and loving every moment of it.

Few of us really experience this whole perfect picture, yet the attempt to attain it plunges some people into debt and further pressure.

We should recognise that for many this time is tough and can be isolating, with memories of happier Christmases being especially painful to deal with.

At this time, it is vital not to neglect your mental wellbeing and physical health. Keep yourself busy – it is often the small changes such as getting some exercise or finding a new activity that can begin to make coping easier.

Here are three people’s real-life views of Christmas:

“Midnight mass is where I gain my spiritual energy and renewal to cope with the hectic demands of Christmas with the family. To sit quietly and contemplate before the masses rush in at 11.29pm uplifts me. To find a quiet five minutes to just be yourself is important – whether inside, outside or walking the dog it doesn’t matter.”

“For years I found myself crying on New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t drink, it was the feeling I’d wasted the year before, and the thought of what would happen in the New Year.”

“At first I thought it was great having over a week off work, then I realised I’d spent days watching telly and not speaking to anyone and all my friends had gone back to their families. I was glad to get back to work, to be honest.”

Lindsay Foyster, Director Mind Cymru

Some useful numbers
Mind Cymru

Mind provides a range of direct services based on the needs and priorities of people with experience of mental distress. We are determined to improve society’s recognition, understanding and acceptance of people with experience of mental distress.

A network of local Mind associations (LMAs) in Wales offer services within their communities (eg, befriending, advocacy, information service, lunch clubs)

MindinfoLine 0845 766 0163 - provides information on a wide range of mental health related issues and can give you contact details for your local Mind group and access to the Mind legal advice service.

Christmas opening hours:

Monday December 24: 8am to 4pm

Thursday December 27 & Friday 28th: 9am to 5pm

Saturday December 29: 9am to noon

Monday December 31: 8am to 4pm

Wednesday January 2nd: Open as usual 9.15am to 5.15pm

Mind Website: www.mind.org.uk

Samaritans

Tel: 08457 909090 (24 hours)

Hafal

Tel: 01792 816 600

Email: hafal@hafal.org

Website: www.hafal.org

Hafal delivers a range of services to people with severe mental health illness including direct support and advice, support in a crisis, contact with others by phone, advocacy, support in a group setting, introductions for befriending, and employment and training projects.

Depression Alliance Cymru

Tel: 029 20692891

Email: admin@dacymru.org

Website : www.depressionalliance.org

CALL Helpline (All-Wales Community Advice and Listening Line)

Tel: 0800 132 737

Website: www.callhelpline.org.uk

Anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend can access the service.

CALL Helpline offers a confidential listening and support service.

You can also search the CALL online database of local support services on the Website at www.callhelpline.org.uk

For anyone affected by depression.

AWETU

Tel: 029 2048 8002

Email awetu@btconnect.com

Website: www.awetu.org.uk

Provides support to people from Black & Ethnic Minority groups who have mental health problems.