Putting pigs on show can be a really dirty business

May 13 2008 by Liz Shankland, Western Mail

The clock is ticking as our smallholder’s Tamworths make their debut in the showring

IT’S one of those questions you will never find answered in any book on keeping livestock: just how DO you keep your pigs clean if they live outdoors?

Now it’s not that I’m going a bit Howard Hughes in my old age. Far from it.

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but it’s never been one of my personal obsessions.

The reason I’m fussing a bit at the moment in a totally out-of-character way is that there are just four days left before my pigs go on public display for the first time, at the Royal Welsh Smallholder Show, and, understandably, they need to look as smart as possible.

The problem I’ve got is that all my pigs have always lived outdoors, free to root about in the earth and wallow in mud to their hearts’ content. They do this all year round, but when the sun comes out, they LIVE in the mud, so much so that they transform themselves extremely quickly from a lovely rich golden ginger to the darkest of browns and stay that way until the heat subsides.

So you can imagine the sort of weekend they’ve had, with temperatures nudging 90°F. Mud, it seems, is a kind of porcine Prada, and no self-respecting pig would be seen dead not wearing it. Never mind the phrase “less is more”; in this case, more is more.

Obviously, this preoccupation with the brown sticky stuff is making it a little difficult getting them ready for the show. So how do other people manage? I suppose they must keep them indoors for the week before showtime. That’s fine if you have the outbuildings to spare, but I don’t. I think the only thing I can do is give them a good rinse every day from now until the weekend, in the hope of keeping the muck down to a minimum. Then they’ll have to have one big final wash, just minutes before being loaded into the trailer for their big adventure.

It’s going to be a bit like getting a small child dressed for a wedding; get them ready too soon and they’ll make a mess of themselves, but leave it too late and you’ll be rushing and panicking and arriving at the event in a real state. Fortunately, there are washing facilities at the showground, so I know what I’ll be doing on Friday night – joining the queue with all of the other outdoor pig-keepers..

I must admit, before I had my first attempt at bathing the pigs, I was a bit worried they might freak out at such a strange sensation. I shouldn’t have worried. The minute I got the wet cloths onto their backs they were in ecstasy, appreciating every drop of the chilled water – which comes from deep underground via a bore hole – as the sun climbed higher in the sky. They also loved the bristles of the horse brush I use to loosen up any stubborn dirt or flaky skin. Pigs always enjoy a good scratch, and that deluxe back-scratcher certainly hit the right spot.

There’s something quite enjoyable about bathing pigs. OK, so you get soaking wet and muddy, and often end up with part of a hefty pig trapping your limbs to the ground as it flops down to the ground in a sleepy daze. On the other hand, it’s a great way to cool yourself down on a hot day, and there’s a strange sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’re making your pig as content as she can possibly be.

As I’ve got a few more pig-washing days ahead of me, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for more dry weather.

I’d prefer it if it wasn’t quite as hot as the weekend, because at least then my girls might resist the temptation of trying to squeeze their sizeable frames into the self-filling water troughs.

The troughs are only about two feet square, but the pigs seem to think they’re small enough to get in. It’s a kind of reverse anorexia, I guess.

Usually the inevitable happens: big pig tries to sit in small square trough, tips it over and creates a lovely muddy area, just right for rolling around in.

If you make it to the show on Saturday, spare a thought for me and my pigs.

Even if I do manage to get them looking like proper show pigs, one thing is for sure – they definitely won’t behave like proper show pigs. It’ll be their first time in a competition – and, more importantly, mine – so they are bound to throw a wobbly. Other pig-keepers have been very reassuring. Time and time again, I’ve heard those words: “Don’t worry if they go wild in the ring, that’s what people will expect.

“It’s what Tamworths do.”

Why, oh why, didn’t I choose a docile lop-eared breed that just lollops around the ring quietly? I know perfectly well why: because Tamworths are pigs with attitude, and that’s what sets them apart from all the others.

Wish me luck!

You can write to Liz Shankland c/o Western Mail, Blue Street, Carmarthen SA31 3LQ. Please enclose an SAE for a reply. Or e-mail downtoearth liz@hotmail.co.uk